Desperate Youth

Desperate Youth

Aug 08

Randy the Cow

listenupsonny:

Here’s a story I wrote because someone said to me, “Hey, write a story about a cow!” and I said okay.

    Randy was a quiet cow. He mostly kept to himself, grazing and mooing around the field as scarcely as possible so as not to become a nuisance. Randy didn’t have many friends, his only one a schizophrenic rooster named Joey. He didn’t care that much about his dilemma because once his dreams came true, he and Joey would be on top. One day, Randy would become a famous DJ, headlining all the best clubs with all the young calves fighting over the right to get near his junk. One day.

   It was a rather breezy day when Randy was prematurely awakened by one of Joey’s psychotic arguments with himself. Randy decided he’d just stay up at this point. It was still dark outside, but that just meant more grass, beeotch. Aside from a slight wind howl and Joey rambling on about alien conspiracies and tainted chicken feed, it was silent on the farm. Seemingly coming from the ass of heaven itself, a light cascaded down on Randy, paralyzing him where he stood. Caught off guard and scared completely out of his cow brain, Randy ascended towards the sky. So caught off guard, in fact, that cow pie filled the sky, raining down on his beloved field. Joey had come running because “SHINY BIG LIGHT GON’ GET RANDY” and was covered in seconds. He appeared indifferent to the weather.  

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i am groot

kawaii-yaois:

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ralphwigguum:

all these people falling in love with chris pratt now that he’s in shape smh

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image

I love chubby Pratt

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marginally-diligent:

"He’s— he’s dead inside…" 

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clockest:

I HAVENT STOPPED LAUGHING AT THIS 

clockest:

I HAVENT STOPPED LAUGHING AT THIS 

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Her (2013)